25 June 2014

Wordful Wednesday//Seize The Day

I've written about it briefly, but as mentioned before, along with my Lyme disease came epilepsy. I have what are called simple partial seizures.

But I've often wondered...

seizure glitch funny

Even though epilepsy is nothing to fool around with, when you're sick, sometimes you must laugh at yourself every now and then in order to not go insane.

I'm a full believer that laughter applies to almost everything in life.

It just helps to be positive.
I know this blog has had its share of deeply negative posts, especially whenever it comes to my health, but I'm trying to look on the bright side of things more. For instance, when it comes to my seizures, just so everyone knows, I'm actually fairly lucky. I do not typically lose consciousness, and my seizures are managed a great deal more than they used to be thanks to medicine.

I know what (most) of my triggers are, which include heat, stress, and anything overstimulating such as flashing lights or incredibly loud music. Imagine all of those combined!

I also am almost always able to predict when I am about to have a seizure through what is called an aura

One of the sensations that most often accompanies my seizures is the feeling of déjà vu. However, I find that I usually seem to experience this when I only have an aura, not the full seizure. There is, of course, the idea that an aura can be a seizure, too.

Something else that I experience in most auras is odd visual sensations--almost hallucinations--as well as a tingling, prickling feeling throughout my body.

I will sometimes tell others I feel sick. Mostly I just feel weird.

Once I've noticed my aura--which lately has been a visual disturbance marked by waviness of what's around me, bright dots, or the appearance of random colors--I prepare myself by trying to get my body out of harm's way as quickly as possible.
Since I've been at home most of the time lately, it's been pretty easy to just hop in bed and lie there, waiting for the seizure to start. The waiting is nauseating.

Finally, a twitch in my arm.
Or maybe it's my neck.
But I'll know the show has started.

The main event is the jerking of my legs. Mainly my right leg.
That muscle will tighten up so much I'll feel as if it's about to break through the skin. And then relief. No, wait, here comes the stiffness again. It's a battle, really--a workout. No wonder my legs look so nice.

I can look around me if I want, and I can take in what's going on around me, but it's almost what you see during those movie scenes when someone's on drugs and everything is in slow motion and disturbed. Of course, it's not that bad. It's just unfamiliar. So I tend to close my eyes and just sort of block everything out. Concentrate on just getting this thing over with.

When the show ends, I feel like any actor at the end of a play: my nerves are wrecked, my legs feel weak, and I can barely speak. The only difference is that instead of adrenaline, I feel wooziness and drowsiness.

Even though it probably only lasted for under a minute, it feels like I've been clenched up and in pain for hours. I'll rest or go to sleep immediately after.
While this event took up, what, 30 seconds of my day? The recuperation can take not just the rest of that day--but even the next day, or the next.

It's a painful process.

Man, I wish this was a real play.
I wish I was acting.
I wish I got paid for all of this.

24 June 2014

Playlist: "Sweet Nothings"

This playlist is nothing if not sweet.

I hope you take the afternoon to listen, relax, and remember to not be afraid to fall in love.

What a smooth song by Landon Pigg. My cousin played this song at her wedding, and I can understand why--it makes you want to grab the nearest person and just pick them up and twirl them around. Happiness and love are wrapped up together in this song in a way that's not overwhelming but rather just right.

A little more upbeat with a repetitive yet catchy chorus, I chose this song because it has simple lyrics that are still sugar sweet. Be careful though--this one will nuzzle against your brain until you almost can't take it anymore!

What sweet-as-honey voices sing this song! I highly recommend you pay attention to the lyrics (even though it's hard not to get caught up in the lull of the song). The sweetness of this song is almost dripping out of my computer screen right now!

This last one isn't from YouTube for any reason other than the fact that I couldn't find it on SoundCloud.
If you listen to it, however, you'll find immediately how mesmerizing it is. The music reminds me a bit of a carousel ride or something--at least that's what I picture. But I also picture a blithe couple on the carousel ride...laughing, kissing, having the ride of their life. Plus, the lyrics are darling.

Feeling any sweeter now?

23 June 2014

Macabre Monday: Creep Into These Creepy Music Videos!

It wouldn't be Macabre Monday if I didn't give credit to Ms. Kate and her blog, The Minted Beauty. She is the one who began Macabre Mondays, after all! If you haven't already checked out some of her horrific Monday posts, let me go ahead and tell you--the humor and the horror and the handling of material is excellent!

This Macabre Monday post in particular wouldn't have happened (or would have been pretty sparse) had it not been for my boyfriend. I can boast about him and say he is more knowledgeable when it comes to anything music-related than anyone I know, and he is so unbelievably passionate about music that it makes you question your own passions.

So was he up for the task of helping little ol' me find creepy-licious music videos?
Damn straight he was. And because he was, you will find below our--okay, mostly his--compilation of music videos that gave us the creeps! See how far you can make it through any of these.

Aphex Twin- "Come To Daddy" 

From the way it's shot, with point-of-view angles that put you on edge (like a person lurking behind a corner), to the simply weird-faced children, everything in this music video fits perfectly with the music. I would say the images and the music feed off of each other; whenever I hear this song, I can't help but think of the video. Aphex Twin has some pretty unusual music videos--some I would say a little creepier than this, even. But the music--what do you think about the music? I know it's odd, but I actually find the wicked-sounding come to daddy part a little catchy...

Boards of Canada- "Everything You Do Is A Balloon" 

Now, this is a long one for most one of you, but it's worth it to at least watch half of it--I promise!
The old school footage makes it a bit creepy when paired with the music--especially at the beginning. It's uncanny in a way, and you can't help but think the music is a bit haunting. But then...oh boy, THEN. It's like something out of The Twilight Zone. 

Nosaj Thing- "Us (Jon Hopkins Remix)"

This one gives me the chills with the combination of the quick cuts, the point-of-view, and of course, the way the food is laid out--appearing oh-so-similar to that of something we'd see in a serial killer film. The cooking of the steak gets me because it reminds me of seeing people operate on hearts and how they gently lift away at this or that. It's still creepy to me at the end, with what looks like surgical gloves on the hands of the woman cleaning. Everything is just very Hannibal-esque. Would you join this guy for a round of supper?

Steven Wilson- "Index" 

This last one is a real creeper. In all ways. Mannequins are just...yeah. And if you listen to the lyrics, be prepared for the inevitable grimace that will surely make its way onto your face: "If I collected you and put you in a little cage I could take you out and study you every day." Ugh! You'll probably feel a few hairs on the back of your neck stand up as well. Or they might already be there from watching this music video that just gives me the heebie-jeebies. (There are some quick cuts in this video as well and some flashing lights, so if you don't like that or if you have seizures, you might want to stay away.)

Hope you found yourself with goosebumps from at least one of these!
Happy Macabre Monday!

21 June 2014

{Widened Horizons}

Getting back into the swing of things with the blog feels nice. Even though I'm in a bit of pain today, I took this Widened Horizons post on as a challenge to have me thinking about something other than the pain. In the process, I found some awesome items that will have you wanting.

Exposed brick seems to be catching on again. I'm a big fan, and it seems many owners of lofts are as well. Even if you can't seem to work real brick into your dwelling, faux brick is an option that you can install on your own!
I love many aspects of the room below (especially the mirrored tables) but there's no argument that the exposed brick wall is what the eye is immediately drawn to. What do you think about exposed brick?
exposed brick loft

I'm not playing games when I say I've found the one. That special other that makes my head spin and puts a goofy, dreamy smile smack dab on my face.
purple damask sofa

Now, I am a bit of an earring collector. In the sense, of course, that, like one of those birds that collects shiny objects, I just can't seem to get enough of precious, shiny earrings. I'm deeply attracted to the colors of these--even though they're not necessarily shiny, I think they would make a statement.
oxidized earrings

I kind of whimper at the thought of ironing. For some reason, when I was little I thought it was the bee's knees, however. (My grandmother's idea of games was chores, I just realized.) But anything to make housework FUN is a plus in--well--anyone's eyes! Enter...the cute cute cute cutest ironing board cover! The etsy shop GaranceCouture has many other bright styles in stock, so get to lookin'.
cute ironing board cover

While I don't own an iPad, I know some of you followers must, and I just had to add in this gorgeous case because I can't help but share its beauty. Sharing is caring, right?
floral ipad case

I know there are some creative DIY jewelry holder ideas running about the Internets, but if you're not ready to commit to something like that, I highly suggest this adorable, functional, rotating jewelry storage box.
rotating jewelry box

AAAAANNNNDDDD...(trumpets sound)...the owl find of this Widened Horizons post is!:
Some vintage marble bookends!
vintage owl bookends

Quick Links:

19 June 2014

Thursday Threads: Casual Adventure

Casual Adventure

Casual Adventure by thezorya featuring wayfarer glasses
{ (1. tank  ; (2. printed shorts ; (3. sandals ; (4. sunglasses ; (5. eyeliner ; (6. hobo bag }

First of all, each item featured today is below $100. Can't beat that!

Secondly, check out those sunnies for just $20. I am loving the color; what a cool shade. 

I wanted to feature a beauty product from Kelly Osbourne's new line because I've heard some amazing things about it as well as her mother's line. I can't wait to try this eyeliner out!

My favorite piece from this set has to be the sandals. I'm a shoe girl, and the strap on the top just seals the deal for me. I know I've put them alongside a casual outfit, but couldn't you see Khaleesi from Game of Thrones wearing these? 

17 June 2014

Book Review: Syndrome E by Franck Thilliez (& Where I've Been)

It's been a long time since I've seen the face of my blog, and that's been mainly because of my health. I should start out by saying my liver enzyme levels are still high, but I've been feeling fairly well and an ultrasound showed that everything was fine and dandy--phew!

I have seen a lot of doctors for Lyme-related instances lately, and am expected to get a spinal tap soon. Not looking forward to that one bit, nope. 

Another reason I haven't really been able to catch up is that...wait for it...I'm officially in a relationship. Something I didn't think would happen for a very long time (until after I was as healthy as could be) has happened and he doesn't mind taking care of me. 
All I can really say is: I'm smitten. 

SO now that you've caught up with my personal life a little bit, I can catch you up with a book I just finished reading...

"She imagined a gleaming, magnificent river that churned up in its depths a host of invisible, deadly parasites."

*I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Goodreads description (x): 
Lucie Henebelle, single mother and beleaguered detective, has just about enough on her plate when she receives a panicked phone call from an ex-lover who has developed a rare disorder after watching an obscure film from the 1950s. With help from the brooding Inspector Franck Sharko, who is exploring the movie’s connection to five unearthed corpses at a construction site, Lucie begins to strip away the layers of what may be the most disturbing film ever made. With more lives on the line, Sharko and Lucie struggle to solve this terrifying mystery before it’s too late.
 My rating: 3 out of 5 hoots

Franck Thilliez has created a thrilling piece of work which grabbed my attention at the beginning but ultimately left me somewhat disappointed.

While we first spend a lot of time with one of the main characters, Franck Sharko, on his case, we are suddenly thrust into a tangled web of other cases that are supposed to join together. My problem here isn't that I didn't enjoy the different cases nor that following the cases was confusing, but that when all is said and done, everything was just a mishmash that didn't express itself well to me.

In fact, it was almost to the point of being absurd.

There is a minor character, Ludovic, who the story begins with and works off of; however, he is really not ever mentioned again in the book after his ordeal with going blind. I would have actually enjoyed reading more about his character--especially since it is he who kicks the story into gear.

The character of Lucie was thought out much more than Ludovic, but not near as much as Sharko, and I would have liked to have heard more about her--like her back story. The book references it many times, but I was frustrated when no details were ever really given.

The small romantic sub-plot between Lucie and Sharko could have been expanded upon, but it was nice to have even been included in the story.

Sharko's character was fascinating to me because of his schizophrenia diagnosis. I hate to say it, but there aren't many books I've read that feature a main character with schizophrenia without that said character being portrayed as insane. It was interesting in this case to read how the character of Sharko dealt with his schizophrenia and how it affected his career, his relationships, and just his mentality.
Having said all that, I detested what the author decided to do with Sharko's character. I know we want the best for people but...ah! I may have said too much already.

The dry humor of Sharko was fantastic and placed perfectly as if to relax tense muscles after being on edge for so long due to some particularly thrilling scenes. The dialogue with Sharko's character and others was intriguing as well as genuine. His words seemed exactly like something the character I had created in my head would say.

Because this book is translated, I figured I would find myself having at least some trouble with the way things were worded. But I really didn't. Everything was actually well-handled, and there were some real gems in the language.

One of my favorite lines from this book, for a few reasons, appears when describing a very minor character:
"A brilliant brain beneath a high forehead, smooth as a coated pill." 
Smooth as a coated pill resonated with me because of the unusual comparison, but also because it made me think of Sharko as more realistic, being that he is supposedly thinking this, and we readers know by now of his inner fight with taking pills.

What was interesting with this book but also the reason I said so many ideas were tangled up, is that we learn about film and its history, we learn about neuroscience, we learn details about several cases... I think there was almost too much information to swallow.

I did have a major problem with how the book--as thrilling as I've mentioned it is--would be suspenseful and engaging and suddenly, flatline. The story would either become really quite boring or just hard to grasp what was going on (like I said, too many elements).

I was pretty disappointed in the end. Having traveled through this entire book wanting to desperately learn what Syndrome E is all about to only discover that when laid out, it sounds just tacky and ludicrous, left me flabbergasted. Even Sharko said it was far-fetched.

However, like several pieces of the story in Thilliez's book, Syndrome E is apparently real.
I know what you're thinking, because I'm thinking it too: Truth is stranger than fiction.

Syndrome E is listed as an upcoming movie title, as well! I can't wait to see what they do with this and how they adapt it to the screen. (I hope it's a little bit better.)

*Thanks NetGalley for the free copy of this book.