26 June 2015

My Sick Life Illustrated Through Buffy Gifs

Being a vampire slayer takes guts.
But so does being chronically ill.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a special place in my heart for being one of my favorite TV shows but also because I can relate to many of the situations that take place--and to many of the characters. That sounds silly, I know, because what could I possibly have in common with a witch or a werewolf or a BUFFY?

Well, don't be so harsh to judge. You might just find some similarities yourself...

What I have to say to someone who tells me how "lucky" I am to have nothing to do all day since I'm sick all the time.

buffy btvs vampire slayer lonely comeback

If I have anything to be "lucky" about, it's that I'm alive and still have...well...some good health left. I don't have anything to do all day because I'm in so much pain all of the time. There's also not much to do when you don't have much of a social life because your illness has destroyed that.
Would you rather choose to be out on a lake having fun with your friends after a day of studying, even though you had to study, or would you choose to stay at home all day long in tremendous amounts of pain with idle hands by your side? I have a good idea of what you'd pick...

You're sitting in the waiting room, minding your own business, when the nurse comes in to tell you that, "Unfortunately, five people are now ahead of you," and asks, "Would you like to wait?"

buffy btvs no sass

Just give me a heads-up. Please?!

When someone uses that quote: The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

buffy bite me btvs mad

Do you really want to go there? You are more than welcome (OK, not really) to look through all of my health records, to go to every doctor's appointment with me, to hang out with me for just a day, or to trade places with me even. I would be glad to experience life in a new body. Freaky Friday, anyone?

When I'm in a painful situation that would knock someone else down to the ground, but barely phases me because I've become so tolerant.

buffy btvs vampire slayer superhero lol

It's funny because I'm so weak, I'm strong. Don't misunderstand, my body sucks and hurts and sometimes I cannot even hug someone without making a face because the pain is there. But I've endured so much pain at my age that I don't even understand how I haven't crumbled. I don't mean emotionally or anything like that--how has my body not just gave way?
I could list symptom after symptom but I will only give you one since it came up in conversation the other day. Migraines.
I have had a migraine almost every day since high school. I'm talking, let's hide under the sheets where it's dark and there's no sound and everybody can just go to sleep, kind of migraines. My friend had one of her first migraines the other day and was in so much pain she missed work for two days. She told me she didn't know how I did it. I don't know either. Superpowers, I guess.

When you're trying to ward off a new symptom...

buffy btvs vampire slayer cross

My list is long enough, OK? Doctors give you about _______________________ that much space to fill in what symptoms you have. When I went to my first Lyme Literate Medical Doctor, I had over 100 symptoms.

This is pretty morbid, and that's why I saved it for last...but it's something I do have to deal with it. It's something many people with chronic illnesses have to think about--and often. It's sad that so many of us are so young and are already thinking about whether or not we might not wake up tomorrow. But it's reality. Like I said, morbid.

buffy btvs death die sad

But I think this is why I connected in a way with Buffy. I'm no "chosen one," and I definitely don't go slaying vampires (or do I?), but Buffy and I deal with the thought of death constantly and especially how it will impact our loved ones.

For the time being, however, I think I'll focus on keeping myself happy and healthy if I can.
Because if I learned anything from Buffy Summers, it's that I'm a fighter, I'm worth something, and...that I need to live.

buffy btvs live alive

21 June 2015

My Pop on Father's Day

I have been ridiculously lucky to have the presence of a father in my life.
Not only that, but to have an amazing father. One who is always at my beck and call.

father day yay love dad

 I still remember the time I was a freshmen at college when I woke up for class and tried to start my car. Kaput......nothing happened.

Now, I wasn't THAT far away from home, but I was still far enough to be a nuisance for just a short trip and back.
My dad's a mechanic so of course I called him straight away. He dropped everything (although I definitely remember hearing some grumbling and mumbling), and came up to my college to fix my car.
There was a flood of anxiety that had been hanging over my head that just completely vanished as I saw his figure come up the steps near my Ford with his red shop towel hanging from his back pants pocket. I was SO relieved. Daddy was there to save me--just like he always is.

I wish I could list all the things I love about my dad and why he is just so charismatic.
He's hilarious--he could take a simple story about a grocery store trip and turn it into a story about something that would make you belly laugh. He's handy and too smart for his own good. I don't think we've ever really had someone come out to repair something on our house. If so, A) I'm sure he would be really pissed, and B) He would probably be right beside them trying to fix the problem. He looks really tough--and he is--but the man is sweet, and he always tries to do right by people. He's just a good person. He just is.

Dad is so fun-spirited and open about everything. We can talk about anything without me feeling embarrassed or like I have to hold back. And I know that's a blessing. We can be ourselves. We can act childish and foolish. And that's what makes us US. It's what makes us have inside jokes and it is how we bond.

dad funny father day love you funny

 My dad means so much to me because he has taught me so much. Whether he's meant to or not.
I am me because of my father. Yes, we have petty little fights sometimes, but as that saying goes, we get over them and we never go to bed without saying sorry. We also never go to bed without saying, "I love you."

sweet childhood beach trip dad father day/

His endearing nicknames for me never go unnoticed and when we are in the middle of laughing at something that is so funny, we just can't stop laughing, it makes my love for him grow even more than I thought possible.
Because he's my dad. He's my dad.